Chapter 18

So it was the day before my surgery, Gerard invited me a coffee. We were at star buck for a change.
“So are you nervous?” He asked me.
“Nope”. I looked at the magazine I was reading. “And this is the third time I tell you, I’m okay” I said the last part slowly, He was getting out off my nerves asking me every 10 minutes if I was nervous. They`re going to cut my head, how do you think I feel Gerard?
“I´m relax, really…”
“That’s good” His hands were sweaty “I’m going to be there, with all the guys, you know”. He was nervous
“I know” The day before, We had a meeting with all the guys, they were very worried about me.
“Is not a big deal you know?” I took the muffin that He was eating. I put on the table and took a knife “Just a little cut and… “ I play with the muffin at least He laughed a little.
“Ejem……Excuse me” A voice cut off our laughs. We both lift our head in the direction of the weak and funny voice. There was a boy, well guy. Cute, lip ring, blue hair.
“Gerard???” He shyly.
“Yeah?” He lift his eyebrow, the guy talk to Gerard in such a confidence that you could believe they know each other.
“Can I ask you for your autograph?” He was in a blush. Gerard made eye contact with me and smile.
“Of course” He smiled to the guy.
The guy smile widely.
“Thanks”
“Oh Frank!” He suddenly noticed me.
“Hi “ I said. We shake hands. Gerard was signing a napkin; He gave it to me and I signing to. “Your name”
“Ow. Edward” He smiled. “Can I say that I love your comic?”
“Thanks”. Gerard scratched his head.
“I love the lines and the contrast it gave it a…” He thought for a moment “… very French touch”
“Oh so know about French draw” Gerard was suddenly interested in the guy. “I didn’t draw it actually, but I gave the idea of the French touch”
“Sure. But the story line is amazing. I…actually know you from before”
“Really?” Gerard looked at him, trying to remember him
“Well not known. We went to the same art school in NY”
I drank my coffee.
“Really?” Gerard was all excited.
“You were in mayor courses, I was just starting” Now Gerard had his stupid smile on his face.
“When your band came out I totally recognized you”
“His band, did you even know the name?” I said in a rude tone.
Gerard gave me the “behaved yourself” look.
“I haven’t listen to you that much, Sorry”
I sigh. “Then why you asked for our autographs then?”
He smiled and looked at Gerard. Gerard looked puzzle.
“To talk with Gerard” Now he was red and Gerard was slightly pink.
“Oh”. I raised my eyebrows and took a drink of my coffee
“Well…..This is my phone number.” Suddenly He looked at me. “Is that okay with you?”
Gerard shock himself with his muffing.
I gave him a wicked smiled. “Why you asked me that?” He pull a chair and sat
“C’mom it was obvious” He lowed his voice. “ So is that okay?” Suddenly I was mad.
“Sure. We are over” Gerard looked at me and I just raised my hands and make a face that said is true.
“Great!”
I looked at him, Who that hell he think he is???? I started to smash my muffing with the fork.
Gerard was uncomfortable.
“I mean, No great, I meant ….“ He shock his head. “Okay here is my number, you can call me”
Gerard took it. I followed the paper with my eyes.
“Thanks, I will, Edward” What?
He shook hands with us. I squeezed his a little harder than usual.
“Bye”
“That was weird”. Gerard said when Edward left.
“Not is not. It was a guy giving you his number”
“Yeah, but…”
“They call it hooking up Geetard”
He looked at me.
“There was a while you didn’t call me like that”
I realized. ”Oh. Well,…” I looked down again.
“Are you going to call him?”
“I don’t know”
“You should“
“You think?” He was serious looking at the paper.
“Yeah totally” Gerard smiled and put the paper in his pocket. I felt something strange in my stomach; I didn’t know what it was.

We get to my apartment. I was renting an Apartment in New York.
“So tomorrow is the big day” He said
“You make it sound like if is a wedding or something”
“Sorry. I know is nothing to get excited” He looked at the floor. We were at the front door.
“You want to get in” I said opening the door.
“Sure” We entered and had a cup of coffee for a change. We were sitting in the table in the small kitchen.
“I know your going to be just fine.”
“Is the second time you said that, in …” I looked at my watch . “In the last twenty minutes” I closed my eyes and move my head.
“I guess is more for me that for you” He finally admitted and looked down. There were a couple of minutes of silence.
“I’m a little scared” I said with a small voice.
“I knew it!!” He pointed at me like a child.
“Okay kill me” I raise my hands laughing
We laugh together
“You know me too well”. I said at I receive a punch from a piece of bread that he launch at me. I giggle hysterically
“Yes I do” He said proud of himself. He laughed in his goofy way, immediately I went back to the day we met. I remember that I heard that sound and thought that it was the most funny and special sound ever.
I giggle.
He search in his pockets, I knew he was looking for a cigarette.
“Hey no smoking…”
“Oh.” It was a paper, the paper with Edward phone number “Look”. He smiled. “Things like this make me feel like not that old”
“Enough. You’re not old”
He laughed again.
I looked at the ceiling.
“Can I use your phone?”
“Are you going to call him now!” I reacted.
“Why?” He asked with a innocent tone.
“Nothing”. After seconds of silence I saw him walking through my phone. I explode. “Are you that easy?!!!”
“What’s your problem?” He was annoyed at my tone of voice.
“Nothing”
“Stop saying nothing.”
“Your jealous…” I felt a jump in my heart “... that I have a date and you don’t” Oh that..
“I…just…” I couldn’t find the words.
“What?” He suddenly sounded more serious.
“Nothing!!” I yelled
“Frank, you’re acting like a child”
“And you like a teenager all excited for that fucker”
“So what? if is a hot fucker” He was searching for his cell phone. “I f you don’t lent me your phone They created Cellphones you know!!!” He showed me the cell phone like a child with an ice-cream no one else had.
“You’re acting like a typical macho!” I yelled back at him. “Trying to fuck everything that moves!”
“And you’re a girl!” We were yelling at each other. “Is not your problem if I fuck half of the world”
“I don’t want you to call him!!”
“What?!! Why??” He was pleading for a reasonable answer.
“Because!” I crossed my arms over my chest
“That’s not an answer. He started to press the buttons of his cell phone.
“Because…” I was searching for a coherent answer
“Because..?” He asked againas He take the phone to his ear. “I need a reasonable answer, because you’re acting in the most…”
“I don’t want you dating other guys!!!!!” WTH. Did I said that out loud?
Gerard sit down slowly realizing what I was saying He hung up the phone.
“Why?” He said calmly.
“I don’t know…….I…”
“Frank, don’t…”
I looked at the ceiling. “We never have a date.”
“No we didn’t.”
“We should have a date, a proper date”
He smiled sadly.
“What for?”
I just look at the floor.
“Frank, you’re doing this because of tomorrow…”
“I don’t know, I’m sorry”
“We had over this…”
“I can’t believe you’re saying that…..”
“Why? Because, I was always the one that begged you…”
“No…because I though you…”
“Love you? Yes, I did”
“But this past weeks, we’ve been like before…”
“You’re confusing things. We are friends” He said in a very convince tone.
I stood up and went to the living room, he followed me.
“Frank…” I gave him the back. Frankie. He put his hand on my shoulder. I turned around and looked at him for a second before He held me. I held him back, so tight, I could feel his breath in my neck. I felt an electricity going up my back. He let me go, maybe he felt it too. I tired to hold his hand but he gave a step back.
“I´d better go”
“Gerard…”
“No” He grabbed his jacket
I just stood there.
“I see you tomorrow” He closed the door behind him.