CHAPTER TWENTY

I stood up.
“What’s that crap about you getting married?” I wasn’t yelling, I just wanted to be told the Ray made a mistake. That the whole marriage thing was a mistake.
“Calm down.” He told me in a very calm tone.
“Calm down!?!” I started to panic. “So it’s true. It can’t be true.” I was trembling. “Gee tell me this isn't true!” I almost begged him
“C’mon Frank, Lind-z and I, we... We make sense.” He explained to me, his expression was hard. “We don’t.” He crossed his arms.
“What?” My whole world started to fall to pieces. We were...?
“It’s not right.” He said, he looked horrified. Like the idea of me and him together was disgusting.
“But…I don’t understand.” I sat on the bunk, the floor had begun to spin.
Gerard stood there in front of me, his face was so cold, not a single emotion.
“You…We just had sex…”
“Is just that, Frank, sex.” He was mocking me.
I felt the tears coming to my eyes.
“No. It has to be something wrong. You know it wasn’t just sex.” I was full of despair. “You cried that day, you begged me not to leave you.” I pointed at him with my finger. His expression changed a little, slightly surprised, but then those cold eyes came back.
“There is nothing wrong. The only thing wrong and out of place thing in my life is you.”
That hurt so much, I could feel my heat being ripped apart.
“I don’t… I don’t know you.” It was like a surreal dream, a nightmare that you couldn't wake up from.
“You said you loved me!”
He laughed. I couldn’t believe he was laughing at me.
“I needed one more night with you, honey.” He put his arms behind his head and rested on the wall. “So I had to say what you wanted to hear.” He looked so calm, and it was like this whole time didn’t mean a damn thing to him.
“I meant the sex was good, I don’t deny that.” He closed his eyes. “I’m going to miss you, your sweet little ass.” He opened again and looked at me straight in the eyes.
“But I don’t love you.”
My heart broke in a million of pieces. I started to cry openly and burried my head in my hands.
“You bastard!” I punched him on the chest. “You make me believe you…..You make me love you! And all this time you were using me!” It felt like all the air was missing from my lungs.
“You’re the most repulsive human being I've ever met! I hate you!” That was a lie, I loved him so much, and I hated myself for loving him, for believing in him all this time.
“You enjoy the sex too.” He grabbed me by my wrists. “Remember all the times you screamed my name and asked for more!” He laughed again. “Stop acting like a girl.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. Who was this person? Where was my sweet Gerard? That man that told me he loved me, who caressed me gently and showed me compassion. The tears were running down my face.
“AWW! C’mon Frankie, don’t cry” He cooed in a mocking tone. I felt sick. I just turned around and left the bus.
I heard him calling me an angry bicth.
The moment I stepped out of the bus. I felt dizzy. I felt a hand in my shoulder.
“Frank? Are you okay?”
Then everything went black