CHAPTER 3

“Ah?” I asked
“The kiss you know, it was a mistake” He was talking to me but looking to the road in front us. “You’re with Jamia, and I’m with Lind-z. It was a fucking mistake”
I felt so hurt. He hated it, he hated me, it was a horrible mistake for him, and my heart was started to broken.
“I’m not gay anyway”, he said more to him than to me.
He kept talking, but I ´wasn´t really listening to him, my heart is strangely broken, why did I feel this bad, he was right, is not like a feel something for him………………fuck, I do, I’ve always been. I’ve always look up to him, is the only one in the band that stand my craps and I understand him. I was there when he thrown up, sometimes I got drunk to be in the same level with him. And now, after that amazing kiss, my god, I just want to run away from him.

“Frank? Do you agree right?” He said finally looking at me.
I have no idea what he was saying. I just noticed those hazel eyes… I slap my self inside.

“Yeah, totally”. I said, trying not to cry.

“You’re my best friend I don’t want that things between us be awkward for this shit. “Ok?” He said with a shy smile in his face.

“Yeah sure man, thing forgotten” We entered in the store, and now he’s acting normal, and started to talk about a new video game, I listened to him and nodded, but my head was screaming why me?

Days passed, and things cool it off, we were talking almost in a normal way, but there was not interaction between us, in interviews or in the concerts. Definitely it was affecting the band. One day Ray come to me and asked me if I was okay.
“Yeah, why will I be not okay?” I responded a little annoyed.
“Only asking man, things between you and Gerard are okay? You guy look a little distance”
“What you want me on to him all the time!?” Almost yelling at him.
“No…Ahh doesn’t matter…I was worried about you…but if you don’t want to talk that’s fine! But remember that the band is first, any shit that you and Gerard have is second, the band is first.!” Now he was yelling at me. He got up and left mad.
I just sat there. Maybe Toro wasright, the band is first. And after all Gerard is my friend, we love each others We were brothers in arms, we haed pass lots of shit together. Maybe, Gerard was right, it has been an awful mistake, he seems to had move on, why can’t I?.
Later on, I met with Jamia, Things with her have gone worst since the whole Gerard kiss.
“Hi babe” I said giving her a kiss on the cheek.
“Hi” She said looking me into the eyes, a very hard look on her eyes, “So...”
“So?” I asked with a puzzled look.
“Don’t you forget something?” She said taping his foot in the floor. That was driving me crazy.
“What day is today, Frankie?” now she was talking to me as a 5-years-old kid
“August 15th, 2007” – I said to her a little annoyed.
“I know, but what day is it??!!” She was yelling now.
“I don’t fucking know!!” I yelled her back.
“It’s our fucking anniversary! You jerk!”
Shit, fuck, I’ve been so worried about me and Gerard, that I forgot our anniversary.
“I’m sorry I totally forgot” I said looking down and putting my hand in my pockets.
“That’s obvious” I saw a tear streaming down her face.
“Don’t cry. I’m sorry babe, I’ll make you up for you, ok? Just you and me today.” I said trying to reach her face, but she gave a step back.

“No, Frank, this is too much”

“Come is only a day!” I was loosing my patience again.

“Only a day! ONLY A DAY!!, Ok this is enough, I’ve been holding out, long enough!” She said furious. ”You never call me, you prefer hang out with the band that with me, I’m sure you prefer to kiss Gerard than me…..admit it things have been wrong for months now.” She’s still screaming and she is looking at me with a painful look and her arms crossed. Then I realized.

“Are you breaking up with me!?”